I’ll cut right to the chase. I had the Flyers vs Bruins game playing in the background on Saturday and I glance up from my phone to see their mascot, Gritty pumping up the crowd. It’s been a while since I’ve taken a good look at Gritty, but the first thought I had when seeing him was “Man, I bet he would taste delicious.” Thus today’s post was born, Which mascot I think would taste the best from each of the 4 major sports leagues.
NHL: Gritty – Philadelphia Flyers
I mentioned him before and I’m sticking with it. Something about this guy makes me want to throw him on the grill and really see what we’re working with. I imagine him being a red-meat but tasting like chicken. He is also probably a little bit spicy. I don’t think he would even need any seasoning. He would be great on a wrap. God I wish this guy was real. If you think waygu is expensive wait until you see what a slab of this guy costs. Gritty wins this one easily.
NFL: Billy Buffalo – Buffalo Bills
Is a bison the same thing as a buffalo? I’m not sure the answer would even sway my decision. No mascots REALLY catch my eye in this league as individuals I want to throw on the grill and dive into but Billy does look the best. I was back and forth between him and Bolt Man of the LA Chargers but I think that would burn my tongue. He is also a bit too human-like for me which would make it get pretty weird pretty fast. But anyway, shoutout Billy Buffalo.
MLB: Blooper – Atlanta Braves
Blooper might be the most popular MLB mascot and I think he would also be the most popular dining option at the finest resturaunt in Atlanta. I think he would be a very versatile food and work with anything. Bake him, grill him, fry him, you name it, it would be delicious. I think whatever those things he has for ears would even be a hell of an appetizer with some marinara sauce. Blooper is any aspiring chef’s dream.
NBA: The Raptor – Toronto Raptors
I think of each league, the NBA has the most mascots that I would enjoy eating. Stuff the Dragon from Orlando, G-Wiz from Washington, whatever that Heat mascot is, are all solid options and I would for sure try. Rumble from OKC, and Benny the Bull also are options that are probably more on the normal side that wouldn’t be half bad either. But I’m going with the raptor. Are you telling me you wouldn’t try some fried raptor? I imagine it tasting like gator but a bit more zesty. Dinosaur had to be an absolute delicacy in the prehistoric days and I’m jealous we weren’t able to experience it.
Don’t even get me started on college mascots.
