Last night, the Cleveland Cavaliers blessed the world with the most insane TV Timeout activity I have seen in a WHILE, having a “Don’t Blink Cam” amongst participating fans. Three brave soldiers got to take the court, while Moondog – yes Moondog, the Cavs mascot who loves power tools, blasts the competitors in the eyes with a leaf blower from point blank range. The lucky winner walks away with a $500 gift card to the team store, as well as a lifetime of ultimate bragging rights.
This is where competitor David enters the chat. David didn’t just compete, he didn’t just win, David redefined not blinking. David DOMINATED the other 2 contestants by not blinking for 9.53 seconds, just about doubling the time of the other contestants combined. 9.53 seconds is a super long time to last at anything, especially holding your eyes open with hurricane level winds directly to the corneas.
David is the early GOAT of this competition hands down, and after watching this masterclass I truly wondered if anyone in that arena could ever top that performance.
With that being said, here is my billion-dollar idea associated with this.
If the greatest DON’T BLINK performance of all time was only 9 seconds, then Cleveland should put a leaf blower to the face of a fan WAYYYYYYY more often. I’m thinking more like every dead ball / in between free throws / maybe even as a distraction as opposing players are doing their free throw routine. Hell lets run it during the game to be sure we hit every fan. It gives something fans can look at if they feel like taking a break from hoops for 8 seconds or less. This should bump numbers up BIG TIME and we could really see if David is the best to ever do it.
At the end of every season, the champion of the year should get a banner hung at Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse.
DAVID – 2026 – DIDN’T BLINK FOR 9.53 SECONDS right next to that 2016 Championship banner.
Hell, raise David’s jersey up in the rafter amongst the other legends of Cleveland too.
Why stop in Cleveland? This is a sport within the sport. Every arena and every stadium needs to be participating. There should be a playoff. There needs to be a World Champion. We need Pay Per Views.
David didn’t just win a $500 gift card to the team shop. David won immortality.
Sharks, I am seeking just 1 billion dollars in exchange for having the honor of being part of the future of American sports.